Do you wonder why your marriage or relationship isn’t going as well as you might have imagined it would? Do you think it’s because the person you thought you loved has changed or doesn’t really love you back? If you have such doubts about your relationship then there is a chance that you might not be as good a partner as you think you are. Many people don’t realize what they are doing wrong and don’t understand what happened when their relationships go south. If you are living in a bad marriage then before thinking about ending it, try to find out if the fault lies with you. If you are in a relationship that’s not working it’s even more important that you find out about your skills as a partner before you get married. Of course the chance always remains that your spouse is the problem but since the place to start is with yourself and to honestly judge yourself before blaming others. To help you in this here are 6 signs you’re a bad spouse.
6. You Don’t Listen:
Are you someone who likes to talk and talk all the time? If so then the chances are that you are a bad listener and your spouse is tired of having no one who’ll listen to them. Hearing and listening are very different things. If you are quietly hearing what your partner is saying without paying much attention to the subject matter then that’s not listening. Listening takes effort and concentration especially if your partner has communication problems. Honestly ask yourself if you really listen to your partner or just pretend to listen while dreaming silly day dreams in your head.
5. You Don’t Talk:
As important listening is, talking is just as important if not more. The opposite extreme is of the partner who never talks. You might be a good listener but you also need to be able to express your own feelings well. If you can’t do that then your partner will never be able to know how you really feel. It is important to be able to talk and express your feelings and point of views, without which the relationship is bound to fail sooner or later. You can’t expect your partner to instinctively understand your every thought without you vocalizing it or communicating in any other way.
4. You Work a Lot:
If you are a workaholic then chances are that your relationship isn’t going well. How can it when you spend most of your time at work. A lot of people just need to work a lot to stay happy. Such people try to justify their addiction to work by rationalizing that they are doing it for their family’s sake. But the best thing you can give your family is not money but time. If you are a workaholic and stay a workaholic even after finding an interesting partner then you are a bad spouse.
3. You Try to Control:
If you are the kind of person who likes to stay in charge then you could be a bad spouse. It all depends on how extreme this part of your nature is. If you want to control so much that you manipulate and bully and dominate the other person completely then you are definitely a bad spouse. You might think that you are doing it for their benefit but it’s just a rationalization. The best thing you can do for anyone is to help them be independent.
2. You Try to Flatter:
The opposite of the controlling manipulative type is the people pleaser. Some people are just submissive and try to please everyone they meet. They do this the most with their partner. So much that it becomes flattery. While this might help inflate the ego of your partner and might work for a while, it’s not a recipe for a successful marriage. Just as dominating isn’t right, submitting isn’t right either. Both partners need to be independent and co-dependent in a delicate balance.
1. You Can’t Control Your Anger:
If you are one of those people who get angry at small things all the time then you are going to make a bad spouse in spite of whatever good qualities you have. The truth is that there will be fights in a marriage and if you can’t control your anger it will be very hard for your partner to always love you. If you’ve ever hit your partner then you should just accept that you are the worst type of partner out there. If you just verbally abusive when you are angry, you don’t win any prizes either. The hallmark of a good spouse is to stay calm during arguments and always be civil and respect their partner.