The bastardized segment of social media has terribly overshadowed some ‘dudes’ who have persistently batted against the odds. In their lifetime, these people have done certain acts of exceptional badassery which generally happen in movies. Sadly, their acts have been curbed in the media to encourage lousy scenes like Ray Ban tucked on the back collar and some X-rated stuffs which compel young boys to masturbate.
But you don’t belong to that segment because a bastard will never visit this page dwelling around some badass Indians like…….
6. Shyam Rudra Pathak:
You, Sir, deserve my attention.
The man in the above image isn’t any crazy yoga doer or a regular arthritis patient. However, you may say he is drained of energy by contemplating his posture, unusually swaying beard and bald spot on top.
Alas, the thought processor in your pea-sized brain is awfully limited. Lol no offence!
So who is he?
Most of the students in India start day-dreaming about IITs while studying in 10+2. These students can find a monolithic source of inspiration in Mr. Pathak who qualified the most badass engineering entrance while he was in class XI. Guess he preferred cramming nasty formulas rather than watching Mithun Da’s movies in local theatres. Well, on that basis, he got admission in IIT-Delhi to pursue 5-year integrated MS in Physics. Then, the Silver Medallist of Bihar Board propelled a long journey of scholastic badasseries which includes: AIR 1 in GATE 1985 with 99.89 percentile, CSIR fellowship in first attempt, topping the entrance exam for Research Scholars at TIFR-Bombay and championing several others exams. He did something in his educational field which can’t be ever achieved by combining even the whole lineage of:
Please elaborate, I can’t get it.
What makes him The Dude?
During his time at IIT Delhi, his project report of 96 pages on Bio-gas was disapproved by the college administration. Reason: it was written in Hindi. The badass Bihari hulked out on the restricted linguistic rights and pledged to walk on the path of defiance rather than chasing the filthy fat paychecks of MNCs. Because of his ardent struggle, IIT started taking entrance exam in Hindi language and gave the go-ahead signal to projects submitted in Hindi.
This magnetic crazy guy has persistently advocated the usage of Hindi in Supreme Court and High Courts. His latest demand is to amend Article 348 of Indian constitution which makes English the official language of all judiciary jobs in India. He thinks that apart from English, the mother-tongue should also be given place in the proceedings of court. It will make things easier for folks who don’t have a single goddamn clue about the language given by Britons. You know in rural parts of India, they however teach English but sadly in following way:
Teacher: Class! Let’s learn English today.
Mr. Pathak has been arrested more than 100 times by the Delhi police for constant protest in front of the Congress party’s office. Every morning he is detained by the cops and is released only in the evening. But before leaving the police station he shares tea with officers on duty.
5. P. Kalyanasundaram:
In the mega-saga of Mahabharta, Pitamah Bhisma took a terrible oath to stay unmarried. That sounds horrible in today’s low-rate environment but the sentinel of Hastinapur followed it till the day his body was pierced by kin’s arrows. So if there is something like ‘original salute’ then Pitamah deserves it.
Dude, it’s not a marketing gimmick.
Now let’s think about our legitimately condemnable society. Today, ‘oath’ has become just another rant for people who claim to do anything ballsy like even stealing Hitler’s dog, if given a chance. Truth is they start running for their lives if any roadside dog stares them with evil eyes.
But surprisingly, in modern-day society, we’ve seen some holier than thou fellas who have proved that oath isn’t like the crying child in theatre who needs to be kicked away promptly. Honor your word. Like:
My Bhisma Pratigya is to make no-brainer, retard movies.
Or like him:
I swear to sign away my entire life to you folks.
Palam Kalyanasundaram has gone above and beyond the call of duty to serve humanity with his never-say-die attitude. He was at college when the Sino-Indian war broke out to humiliate Indians for coming decades, or even centuries. Mr. Kalyanasundaram – for whom serving others was a mission – donated his gold chain to the war fund and approached the editor of Tamil magazine Ananda Vikatam to speak about his deed. ‘Shoo!’ was all he got from the editor. And that was the time when this man swore to spend the rest of his life for social welfare.
During his job as a librarian for 30 years, Kalyanasundaram never kept his salary for personal use and donated every bit of it to the people in need. He knocked back after his retirement and hurled his pension of a million rupees. His generosity didn’t stop there. He was honoured by the United Nations Organizations (UNO) as “Outstanding People of the 20th Century” and by the US Government as the “Man of Millennium”. American Government also awarded him Rs. 30 crores but instead of approaching a bank for Fixed Deposit or buying racehorses, he continued his philanthropic duty and, true to form, donated the entire amount.
And like Pitamah, he too is unmarried. (Good job sir, you get A++)
And when the superstar came in:
To know more about my dad, shoot a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
On hearing that there is someone who deserves the title of ‘Sir’ more than himself, the kickass superstar Rajinikanth adopted him as his father. MIND IT!
4. Vinod Rai:
Bureaucrats of India, apart from getting administrative trainings in hill station, are also trained to eat a goddamn slew of money in instance. Believe, their ‘eating’ habit is so weird that it could make even a donkey puke.
A champion, forever.
IAS topper of 1981 batch, Pradeep Shukla has also topped the corruption chart by guttling multiple crores of NRHM fund. Howdy dude, you didn’t fart even once.
Bureaucrats can use their power like Shukla to obtain whatever they desire or like the following man of gigantic balls to repair the moral-bankruptcy of a totally fucked up system:
Though I look like Karan Thapar, I’m not a whacko.
A 1972 batch IAS of Kerala cadre, Mr. Vinod “Tough” Rai is an unparalleled image of modern-day India (if it’s really shining). His work as the Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) of India has shown for the first time that garrison of covert political activities could be ravaged easily, if your balls are made of steel. All you need is to just take an ‘honest’ move.
A Harvard graduate, Mr. Rai commenced his journey as a civil servant at the Thrissur district, where he was labelled as the second Sakthan Thampuran (an eminent ruler of the Kingdom of Cochin) for his administrative badassery. Later on, while working for the central government, he exposed several hidden loopholes in the country’s financial system.
As the Robin Hood of Indian bureaucracy:
Front-page politicians and Page-3 journalists of India could be often seen howling from the rooftops about ‘value’, ‘transparency’, ‘justice’ and blah blah. Ironically, some of these retards fell from the rooftops when Mr. Rai – while serving as CAG – kicked their asses for executing the 2G scam of whopping 1.76 lakh crore. Their ‘value’ of ‘transparency’ finally got the ‘justice’.
He single-handedly confronted the Government of India on Coal Gate and Delhi Commonwealth Games issues 2010, and made some powerful people piss blood. However on several occasions, the powerful elite of Indian government tried to create hurdles in his way, but he carried on fearlessly like Harry Callahan:
Go ahead, make my day. You goddamn punk!
He remorselessly bonked every corrupt folk during his feat with a certified don’t-fuck-with-me attitude.
Mr. Rai’s perseverance could lead other bureaucrats to do something ballsy for the country, if they don’t consider themselves a pimp of the motherland.
3. Irom Chanu Sharmila:
Protest, for a lot of people, is a super cool phenomenon. These folks love to see mediapersons bouncing around them with fashionable questions. YES. The media that is notorious for camouflaging bullshit as news in most of the cases. And thus some full-scale retards are glorified into the mainstream as The Expendables; I’m looking at you, Suhel Seth.
The bird in frame is gonna shit on my shoulder.
Truth is, their balls are like a sandbag with plethora of holes. As the time passes by, the weight reduces drastically.
But “a lot of people” doesn’t mean “everyone” because…..
…..contrary to these mindless zombies, there are some individuals who hit the government for genuine causes, with genuine spirit. The spirit which carries enough potential to knock the bullshit out of creepy laws proposed by some fucked up armchair intellectuals sitting in New Delhi. Her spirit, for instance:
Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.
See this lady. Her name is Irom Chanu Sharmila, and if she is unknown to you then I can’t do anything but guess Bollywood divas have overshadowed an exemplary face of public resistance in India.
Better known as “Menghaobi” (the fair one), Sharmila is world’s longest-running hunger striker with a sustained demand for the central government to repeal the draconian act AFSPA, which basically allows armed forces to:
Make any civilian a suspect
Capture them for interrogation
Kill them without reason
Move on freely without prosecution
I call Bullshit on this!
She began her hunger strike on November 2, 2000, when ten civilians were brutally massacred by the Assam Rifles in Malom, Manipur. According to the soldiers, these people were insurgents and a potential threat for their surroundings.
Threat? Among those killed, there was a boy named Chandramani, known for winning gallantry award from the then Prime Minister of India Rajiv Gandhi. Others massacred were local civilians who had nothing to do with suspicious activities.
Currently facing charges under section 309 of IPC for suicide attempt, Sharmila is force-fed by a nasal tube as she has pledged to continue her strike until her demand is met. Her physical strength might have reduced over the period of time but her incredible willpower has managed to spring up since then.
She was released on August 19, 2014 by a court order, subject to there being no other grounds for detention but was re-arrested on August 22 on similar charges to those for which she was acquitted, and remanded in judicial custody for 15 days.
Go ahead you people, bat for this daredevil lady who has put a classic example of incredible human badassery to subdue violence imposed by your very own government.
2. Captain Vikram Batra:
CoD boys, if you’re trying to be cool then you’re welcome to the real battlefield rather than smearing shit on your screen.
Feeling offended? Well, calm down and read to know about a fearless officer of Indian Army who achieved something which you guys can’t ever imagine while killing retarded kids on your PC using sweet-azz AI.
Better known by his nickname Sher Shah, Vikram Batra of 13 JAK Rifles, along with his unit, was assigned to re-capture Peak 5140 in Drass sector during the Kargil conflict of 1999. To blow out Pakistani bunkers at 17,000 fucking feet was an ultra-manly task which would have made even Rambo shit bricks.
But Vikram Batra did it.
Say hello to my little friend.
On the night of June 19, 1999, he began climbing the rock-cliff from the rear side but very soon Pakistani soldiers tracked the movements of Indian commandos and started triggering machine guns towards them. Regardless of the firing, Batra and his team kept crawling and upon reaching the top, killed every fag insurgent. He was critically injured but kept hurling grenade after grenade into Pakistani bunkers and also killed three enemy soldiers bare handedly. Snatching Peak 5140 was a gateway for the Indian Army to win further battles of Kargil. It became possible only because of Batra’s unbelievable ballsiness.
He came back victoriously only to tell the world Yeh Dil Maange More! Yes, Captain Vikram Batra was the man who glamorized the catchphrase of Pepsi in the pop culture lexicon. Bollywood celebrities kept yelling this line to advertise a drink but Captain Batra mouthed it to tell everyone “Dude, it’s just the beginning.” Had Hitler been there, he would have become pacifist after watching Batra’s exceptional badassery.
And I swayed the white flag.
With indomitable spirit, he once again proceeded to capture Point 4875 but was killed while rescuing junior officer Lt. Naveen who was severely injured in a grenade explosion. Despite Lt. Naveen’s unwillingness, Captain Batra dragged him back to a safer spot and thrust himself ahead while screaming: “Tu baal bacchedar hai, hat ja peeche.” [You’ve kids and wife to look after. Step back!]. By the time, enemies had pumped several bullets in his body. Though he ended up dying in the battlefield, he paved path to win back the crucial peak.
But the mama’s boy fulfilled his promise:
“I’ll either come back after raising the Indian flag in victory or return wrapped in it.”
He preferred the second option and came back home in a wooden box with Tricolor all around his body.
For going way beyond the line of duty and pulling victory out of nowhere, Captain Vikram Batra was posthumously awarded with the Param Vir Chakra, India’s highest gallantry award.
Somehow his spirit matches with General Patton’s. Raise your hands if you guys think so.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I’m the meanest bastard in the entire valley.
1. Dashrath Manjhi:
Lord Hanuman, the eminent deity in Hindu Pantheon, holds immense respect among bodybuilders for his bulging muscles and the mountain-lifting incident. Yes, he transported a gigantic mountain to Sushena in the battlefield of Lanka to prevent Lakshman from dying. The bigass mountain was delivered in a time which can put even FedEx to shame.
Similarly, Lord Krishna too presented a unique act of badassery by lifting the entire Mount Govardhan to protect his people from rain. And he used just one finger to do this. I’m not sure on which finger the goddamn mountain was poised but for Lord Indra, it was certainly the middle one.
Schwarzenegger, can you challenge them?
Practically, The Terminator can’t.
Because Gods in our debatable mythological system suddenly gets whopping power when it comes to rip the bastard out. Schwarzenegger can’t achieve this feat with his dumbbells for HE IS NOT A GOD. BUT……
…….we’ve witnessed a mortal who accomplished a super heroic task on the kickass tunes of hammer and chisel. Cooler than the Gods of folklore, this man is popularly known as:
Pahad Purush (The Mountain Man):
My hammer’s name is Rambo – The Bastard.
Dashrath Manjhi, a poor labourer from the Gehlour village of Gaya district in Bihar, suddenly rose to prominence for a work which brings a new height of embarrassment for the entire machinery of the Public Works Department (PWD).
Once, Falguni Devi, his wife, was seriously injured while crossing a hill in the village. She succumbed to her injuries as the nearest medic was nearly 70 km away from their village. Approaching the nearest town immediately was seemingly unimaginable and so was the chance of getting medical treatment in the stranded village. She died. He pledged something, rather than lamenting. And thus a heroic journey started out.
He sold out his goats to buy some stuffs like hammer and chisel to blast the hell out of a mountain in the hills, which actually was a nasty roadblock between his village and the nearest town.
When he began cutting the mountain in 1960, he was labelled as a lunatic by the cynical villagers but he continued his job relentlessly. Finally in 1982, he was able to create a road which shortened the distance between the Atri and Wazirganj blocks of Gaya from 50 km to 10 km. In his 22 years of interminable badassery, he carved a 110 m long, 7.6 m deep and 9.1 m wide through-cut in the mountain.
Champion of all badass Indians, Dashrath Manjhi, you can say, is the most suitable answer to “How can I change things alone?” sort of second-hand bullshit often asked by screwed-up civilized people.