While there have been a number of jokes on men’s loyalty floating around, sceptic women have seemed to evolve five quick hacks to determine the sincerity, love and dedication of the men in their lives. Trust me, their hacks are so cunning, their men won’t dare look at another woman. Haa! You bet?
01. You can’t run away from Car Scare
As long as you own a BMW/Audi/ any car better than their best friend, neighbour and sister in law’s, you are caring to the core. In fact, a car is pretty much a pre-requisite to marriage, okay? Bigger the car, bigger your heart (or pocket!). I mean clearly you, my man you are caring enough to not let the woman in your life feel belittle, ignored or chided in her kitty parties.
Ah, that’s another chapter if you also happen to be caring enough to let her enjoy the evening in her swanky car while you share a quiet dinner with your hot secretary!
02. Nail the Diamond Test
This is the ultimate test of your loyalty, okay? Go, buy her a diamond necklace and she won’t check your texts ever. No, I swear she won’t even ask about that hot neighbour you always have your eye on. She will be too enamoured to wear it, flaunt it and chide those women whose poor husbands couldn’t afford to gift a mere diamond rock. Of course, a husband who can’t buy you diamonds doesn’t love you enough yaa
Shh, meanwhile, you can carry on with your *business trips* .
03. Exotic Vacations or see her vacate your life soon
Who goes Goa when you can go Miami? Men, men, men, listen to her when she says Manali and Goa are tacky. Nope! Not even Hong Kong, Bali or Dubai- they are too middle-class to be posted about. What kind of a husband takes his beloved wife to a neighbouring country? You sure must be taking those exotic vacations with your girlfriend, right? Nothing less than a destination where VIP’s lounge and whose name cannot be pronounced in one go would work.
Oh, what? You’ll have to take a loan? Well, all is fair in love and war, darling?
04. Lavish anniversary celebrations
The only D-day after your wedding remains your anniversary day. The fact that you are living a fulfilled life all 365 days of the year definitely needs a reassurance from your extravagant plans and gifts on this one day. How else is she going to trust that you are willing to ”spend”
more of your coming years with her?
Oh, I hope you don’t expect the same from her? DUDE, she’s the woman!
05. A dream house is the ultimate key to your success(-ful marriage)
Listen, the pressure is too much on ladies, okay? There are women out there with palatial abodes telling her stories of their man’s love when he bought her this house on her birthday. How will your wife compete with your bland draperies and yesteryear’s parents’ house? Duh. Upgrade man! Shahjahan built the Taj Mahal for his love, you can’t even buy an uber-luxurious, sea-facing flat in a posh society with a neighbouring celeb for her?
Who even told you this crap that love is about two people? It’s about damn four walls. #Reality check. So this is it. Accept it or hate it, it’s a little love story of tangible reassurances and guarantees. If your words and actions fail to convince her, the lady gotta dig her nails into your gold-filled pockets. After all, she is too naive to not fall for society’s conventional standards of love.